V. 11 there is a false sense of security that we place on money. Down in our core being we believe that money talks and that the more money that we have the louder we speak and the more prominent we are. We have seen what money can do and because of its buying power and influence we get conceited, we get proud, we get cocky and demanding. However, Solomon noticed one thing about money, it is not as dependable as it looks. In Pv. 23:5 he states his observation that riches can fly away at any time, in large amounts, leaving at times little or nothing. Although the world tends to operate on the principle that money talks, Solomon says that it is not a secure way to live and warns us in Proverbs not to place our trust in it. As important as money is, he, Solomon would say that there are much better things to put your trust in for life than money.
V.12 Solomon talks a lot about pride and its consequence in the book of Proverbs. It is interesting that he does not use examples of mild repercussions such as making a fool of ourselves or mild embarrassment as a consequence. However, he more frequently uses much stronger language stating much more serious repercussions for acts of pride or a prideful lifestyle. Here he uses the word destruction and makes the inference that proceeding any destruction that more times than not pride is intimately involved. This is an interesting observation and is well to be pondered as to our habit and perspective in life. He goes on to say, however, that the opposite demeanor of pride, humility, has the opposite outcome. He says that a humble spirit, proper attitude and lifestyle, have the effect of prominence, honor and exaltation.
V. 13 It is so important to listen. We live in a society that is so fast paced the we tend to want to cut to the chase, get to the point, just give me the facts. We tend to finish someone else’s sentences for them, demonstrating our poor listening habit. What’s worse is that our listening skills are so poor that we often make decisions or judgments or give advice on almost no conversation at all. We can act like we have some form of mental telepathy, knowing all the details relayed to us by some other means, when in reality, the bottom line is that we do not want to take the time needed to hear the details. But, the true meaning and full picture of what is trying to be shared is really in the details. And, the answer or advice or support that they are seeking from us is also in those details. We all too often miss the mark in helping or meeting the need at hand because of our lack of time to have a complete conversation. It is not that we are not some help with advice given quickly, but it could be better. Also, conversations that are rapid fire do not allow for solid deeper relationships to build establishing trust in a relationship. Solomon says when we answer too quickly others get the message about us. They will say hello to us in passing, and are friendly, but may not stop to give us the details.
V. 14 Are you strong? Do you have what it takes to make it through tough times? This verse is not talking about extreme SELF confidence, but, refers more to the toughness that has developed to endure extreme situations and difficulties in life, hopefully with God’s guidance and Presence. Those who get tough in life without God often get hard and defensive. They frequently still buckle under extreme situations, having to only depend upon their inner strength. But, those who have learned to find their inner strength in God are often able to withstand anything. In so many places in the scripture God reminds us to stand strong. He often does it in the form of ‘Fear not’. But, a wounded spirit often has little to no strength at all and can give up without a fight. This is why an enemy will try psychological maneuvers on an opponent, trying to weaken their resolve, breaking open their inner stronghold. Inner strength is developed from difficult life experiences that pull out of us that deep down strength that God has put there. We do not realize that it is there usually until it is needed. This inner strength is usually a combination of many different experiences. But, sometimes…the strength that you need for the extreme difficulty that you are facing is developed on site, walking through the difficulty at hand.
V. 15 The prudent and the wise person look’s for and takes steps to seek out knowledge. It is like breathing air, like satisfying thirst by drinking water. For the prudent knowledge is an essential part of life, they would not think about going through a day without getting more of it. It says that they not only look for it, but they listen for it, using all of their senses to find it first and then be instructed by it. For these, knowledge is as essential for life as air and water.
V.16 Some know the power of persuasion and what opens doors. Even famous and prominent people like a surprise and like to be appreciated or thought of as special. Some doors you have to open with a little effort by getting someone’s attention. There is nothing like a nice gift tailor made to that person presented in the right setting to open their heart to you. It does not even need to be expensive; it just needs to be real. If you are smart enough to hit the mark an audience that normally would be impossible might turn into opportunity. I love the way the KJV puts this one. It says ‘a man’s gift makes room for him’ when he wouldn’t have fit in before.
V. 17 The first testimony in a dispute always looks like the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and at first we can get the impression that we now have all the details and should not waste our time by continuing. We should make a decision, enforce a judgment and go home. But, then comes the cross examination, revealing other details and concerns you might not have considered. As further testimony unfolds so often the tables turn and what looked like a sure thing now is clear that the opposite is true. It is better to listen to all the details before making up our mind. We are easily swayed by a convincing story especially if it is first on the docket. Solomon also says, ask their neighbor if they are telling the truth, they will know. Living next door to them they can usually tell you if they are telling the truth. Neighbors know things that others might not be aware of.
V. 18 Wow! The wisdom in these Proverbs! Two sides. Two perspectives. Neither wrong. Both have their point. There is no real answer to settle this. There is no justification to disqualify one, or vote in favor of the other. What makes it worse is both parties are important...Too important to disqualify either party on favoritism. Giving in to one side will hurt severely the relationship and or good will and progress involved in the situation. What to do?? There is only one option, wimp out and flip a coin. Let the coin decide. The opposing parties realizing the gridlock will often go for this option. A flip of the coin and a decision is made ending the contention, even of the mighty.
V. 19 Before we burn that bridge we better think twice. Offending a friend is not to be taken lightly. Friends are too valuable. One may have the attitude, not to worry, I can make up later if I want to. However, Solomon says that it is not that easy. When we cross the line and we have offended them. They will remember how we treated them. Feelings are involved. They won’t talk to us. They give us the cold shoulder. It can last a lifetime. We can offend others in many ways. Some of those ways may not be obvious to us. Maybe we did not even mean anything by our action. But, it offended them and now they are holding onto a grudge. Friends can be offended by actions, words, attitudes or even not including them. Solomon says that getting past their emotions can be as difficult as breaking through steel bars.
V. 20 Our conversation has a very profound effect on how we get along in this life. This verse has several different interpretations. However, whatever interpretation you tend to go with, how we use speech and how we communicate with others makes a difference in the comfort of life and the level of existence that we live on. Words not only have a way of opening doors, but they have the ability of making others want to interact with us in ways that are also beneficial to us. This verse could be implying that saying the right thing may give us that good feeling down inside that is satisfying knowing that we said the right thing. However, it may also refer to others, wanting to interact with us because they enjoy the encounter, whether it is for business or for pleasure. V. 21 goes on to say conversation and communication is so important as ‘Death’ and ‘Life’. We often hear it said in the reverse direction, the positive direction, life and death. The tongue is an extremely powerful tool. Words from a person of influence or power can dramatically affect the lives of many. V. 20 in the KJV makes the statement ‘with the increase of his lips’ reminding us that we should invest effort and study in instruction of our lips and conversation, learning to be more polite, respectful and truthful. Here he advises us to give the thought ‘if I phrase my conversation thus it will not only let this conversation be good, but if I say thus it will be helpful or edifying’ before we respond. He also implies we need to give the thought ‘if I say that it will hurt or not help’, not responding in a manner that is not edifying. We do not realize but we often hold the lives of others in our ‘mouth’, not our hand.
V. 22 Solomon here is echoing what God said in Gen. 2:18. In Gen 2:18 God saw the man that he created and saw something missing. He said that it was not good for man to be alone, giving the impression that a major part of the man’s makeup, the relational part of man, was not satisfied. Man was created in God’s image and has the resemblance and personality of God in many ways. But, in this part of man’s makeup man is different. In this, man was created with a need that can only be satisfied from something from outside himself, unlike God, on the other hand, that is complete in and of Himself. It is true that God created some men and women for Himself making them to be eunuchs for the Kingdom. But, for most, man, and woman, is incomplete and lonely without their mate. However, when Solomon refers to finding a good thing he is not referring to just any woman, but is he implying the find of their life. In the KJV he uses the word ‘find’ meaning a diligent search, finally finding what they are searching for. A haphazard decision on this one is only pain and misery. Prov. 19:14 refers to this find of a wife as a prudent person, someone with great value. Proverbs 24:27 also gives some good advise increasing the likelihood of finding a good wife. It says to prepare your work outside, and make it fit for yourself in the field, and afterword build your house’ giving the advise that the one that is searching for that wife needs to be diligently working on them self to be prepared for their find.
V. 23 Solomon observed that like it or not the poor had to be nice, polite and accommodating. They had no choice. They were not in a position to be otherwise. He also observed that those that are rich did not have to be as thoughtful or polite if they chose not to be so. They could, if they chose to, use their money as a tool to allow them to overlook their inconsideration of others. I am not sure how other people of the world look at Americans today, but at one time it was said that Americans had the attitude while traveling, using their money to get what they wanted when they wanted it, at times speaking harshly as Solomon puts it in the process. Poor people, especially in his day, had no choice but to be gracious on the outside even if they were not so on the inside. Their next meal may have depended on it.
V. 24 A man who has friends has a good thing. But, a man with too many friends may be pulled apart. Friends require time and attention. Having too many friends, or treating everyone as your friend may not be realistic given the time needed to service or give attention to real friends and friendships. Too many so called friends can keep relationships more on a surface level as far as really knowing them. Treating someone as a true friend when you really don’t know them that well can smart if they do not live up to your expectation. Treating an acquaintance as a friend is not a good idea. Solomon goes on to say that a true friend, if you can find one or two, will stick by you like a brother, through thick or thin. There also seems to be an inference to the very close and faithful friendship of God who will indeed never leave us no matter what.
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