Proverbs Study – Lesson 39 (Proverbs chapter 27:9-18 )
V. 9 Words said by a friend that are just what you needed to hear are like giving life itself. They’re refreshing! Ointment and perfume are meant to refresh and uplift the spirit. They are meant to be applied to something that is ordinary lifting it up making it special. The words of a trusted friend are just that. In the KJV Solomon uses a couple of special words to describe this friend. He uses the words sweetness and hearty. He describes this friend as being sweet, being pleasant to be with. Other words that might describe this friend are kind, patient or caring. The other word he uses describes the quality of the council as ‘hearty’ having the feeling of being robust or beefy having some substance to it not just a lot of superficial fluff. When they share words of wisdom with you it is sweet or delivered with the right spirit and is helpful being able to be practically applied.
Verse 10 reminds us to appreciate other people and not to take them for granted. We often get busy and preoccupied with many things forgetting those that are near to us. This happens not only with family, but friends also. Solomon reminds us that we need to take care of and maintain our friendships with others not neglecting them letting the bond and connection soften and fade. Relationships take attention. They take time. They need to be maintained to be solid and have benefit. It is also easy to neglect friends of the family so to speak. A friend of the family may not be as connected directly with you as to your father or mother, but they have been a true friend and support over the years. In olden days children of the next generation were encouraged to carry these family friendships on into the future. They not only represented support in life when you needed it, but often had tagged to it water and land privileges or rights. Solomon says not to let them go if your father or mother is taken out of the picture for some reason. He also says that friends at times can be closer than family as family can tend to move away being too far away to call on in your time of trouble. Sometimes practically speaking, close friends can be more beneficial than another family member or sibling.
V. 11 A reputation is made before it is needed. When accusations begin to fly a good reputation can deflect the untruths. In those times you may need those who know you to stand up for you squelching any misinformation or false accusations. One of the first people that are often approached about a son’s alleged misconduct is their father. In those times a father is often approached by the accuser as if they were responsible for the alleged behavior or act. For a father this can be stressful and embarrassing. But, when the father knows that the son is truly beyond reproach because they have had the reputation of being wise the father can rest at ease letting the accusation go right on by. The key here, however, is that the father truly does know the son having spent enough time in relationship and observation of him knowing the son will be honest and tell him the truth. A parent may want to believe the best, but if not connected solidly in relationship with their son they have no true assurance of what actions they are capable of. However, a true relationship with your child can give confidence in situations like this when and if they arise.
V. 12 reminds us to always be looking ahead. Yes there is a danger of being preoccupied with the future if we are not careful. But, he/she is no fool who looks ahead at what is coming their way. Some things that are coming down the road in our direction can be easily handled with a little preparation. However, some for seen encounters are better to be avoided sidestepping them letting them go right on by. It is a foolish person that doesn’t know the difference. Continuing right on as if nothing was happening can result in being overcome by the tsunami heading your way.
V. 13 For those that make agreements with strangers you don’t need to wait for them to lose their shirt, you had might as well take it right now, it is as good as gone. If you are owed something from someone that has bad lending practices you had better keep something as collateral or you might lose your shirt also. Lending to a stranger is risky. In the second part of this verse the NIV and the KJV make reference to someone that puts up a loan to a foreign woman making reference to a woman that is wayward. This gives the inference of not only making a bad loan to someone they do not know, but in addition being influenced to drop or lessen their standards for making a loan even further making it even more sure that the debt will not be paid back. The warning here to us is not only to beware of loaning to someone that we do not know too well or does not have good lending practices, but also to not get into a spot that we agree to something totally foolish because of being influenced by foolish emotions and temptations doing something that we never would agree to under normal conditions. Kings have been known to give away half of their kingdom having been influenced by emotional situations like this. The elderly are often a target making foolish agreements being influenced by emotions having nothing to guarantee a payback. If you even consider lending to someone like this be sure that you keep something in collateral. There is a good chance that you will lose it all if you don’t. (Gen. 38:17-8 an example of O.T. pledge) This verse could apply to any investment you make. Riskier investments, some stocks and bonds or other investment, can be offered with not much collateral assuring some protection of your investment. Those who are rich have learned to never make an agreement without assurance of a return. To them proper collateral is essential to the deal.
V. 14 Be careful of those who are overzealous in their blessing. Some bless loud and strong in a public setting. It is embarrassing. What should be praise and should be meant to uplift and encourage so often comes off making you want to cringe and hide wishing that their supposed blessing upon you would be cut short. Everyone is looking and has now drawn the wrong kind of attention. When this happens some may actually mean it with the most sincere heart and intent. But if it was meant for you why does it have to be so loud. When this happens you have to wonder if there is some ulterior motive behind such a public demonstration. Again, they may have no other intent other than to sincerely praise you for something. However, such a public demonstration of praise may have other motives connected to it some of which may be perceived or it may not by the one doing the praising. If done for the wrong reason it may be done to simply draw attention to themselves in a public setting or may be meant to butter you up hoping to ask or get some special request at a later date. At any rate a blessing that is loud and done to early doesn’t set well. It can be irritating and leaves others wishing it would be short and questioning the motive.
V. 15-6 Nag. Nag. Nag. There is nothing pleasant about a spouse with a critical spirit, especially one that is verbal. This can go either way. The contentious party can be either the husband or the wife. It is like rain that goes on and on for days wearing down a relationship. When this is the situation you live in a box barely functioning. Your life is limited. You know if you go outside anything you do will be tempered by wet. To avoid getting wet or encountering this contention you chose from the limited options trying to stay dry. Options are few and limited. However, no matter how hard you try to stay dry you eventually get wet encountering the contention putting a damper on the relationship and the day. V.16 goes on to say that trying to restrain the words and actions of a contentious person is like restraining and controlling the wind when it blows toward you in your face. You can’t reason with a contentious person so there is no resolution possible. You just have to let it fly. All you can really do is try to get out of the line of fire. In v. 16 he uses another analogy saying it is like trying to pick up oil with your hand. Contention has a way of slipping right by you no matter what efforts you employ to defer or deflect it. This kind of relationship gets old quickly. If contention is routine in a relationship consider the words of Peter concerning developing Godly relationships written in I Peter 3:1-12 and Paul in Ephesians 5:22-33 encouraging a relationship built on admonition instead of contention. Contention destroys a relationship and is not God’s plan. If those in a marriage are not working at building a relationship as described by Peter and Paul there is no way to receive the blessing and Joy of that relationship. Curbing and eliminating contention in a relationship will bring out the sun in a relationship opening the door to many blessings.
V. 17 We do influence each other, either for good or for bad. However, the level to which we influence each other usually depends upon the level of relationship we have with each other. Solomon makes a point of this when he uses the word friend describing the one that sharpens another. Like enhances like. Bond strengthens bond. When looking at this verse it is easy for men to typically focus on the first part of this verse, the part that says that iron sharpens iron. But, this verse is really about the value of true friendship. It is easy to look at a verse like this and as a man take the perspective that it doesn’t matter who are paired up or thrown together to make this verse work. As long as they are men sharpening of a man will occur. But, in actuality Solomon’s point is that good friends sharpen each other through the relationship, like iron sharpening iron, being made of like interests and substance. In other words being a kindred spirit like sharpens like. It is true that just getting men together can have its benefits, but nothing is as effective as the honest relationship of a true friend in a man’s life to sharpen and temper him. True friends are honest. Men’s relationships can often be too competitive if real friendship is not part of the relationship. Solomon would say that every man needs at least one and probably no more than three good friends. We can have more of what we would call friends, but these special people called friends he refers to here could be classified as one in a million.
V. 18 Maintaining a garden or any fruit producing tree is a lot of work before you get anything back. You have to plant, then water, then pull weeds, then prune and trim. Then comes the protecting your hard work from predators and pests. And, then eventually the harvest comes. But, if all is done, and all is done fairly well, then comes the fruit, and eventually the one who keeps the garden gets to partake. He goes on to say in this verse that so it is when serving your master, or in our day being a good employee. Your good work will not go unnoticed. Your master or your boss will not only take notice and be appreciative, but they will also bestow blessings or what we call perks because of you protecting their interests. If you were caring for his fig trees you might get some figs. If caring for the shop who knows what you may be offered. However, a really good servant or employee does not do a good job to get more out of their employer, they indeed do have their employer’s best interest in mind being content with no more than what they were agreed to be paid. However, again, good work never goes unnoticed by somebody and often is someone other than your boss.
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